Just Come Out And Say It....

I have toyed with the idea of "this" post for some time. I haven't quite figured out how to say what is on my mind, so I've decided something. I am going to just come out and say it. Ok. Ready. Here it goes!

I am so glad not to be pregnant!

Ok, yeah. Strange idea for a post, huh? Well, people have been asking me since I became pregnant with Peanut, if we were done with having children. My co-workers at the bank thought that I should stop at 2 kids. I have had quite a few people ask me during the last 9 months if we were "done" or not. January 2007, God placed it on my heart to have another child. Hubbie and I talked about it for a while and prayed. I was still working full time and hadn't yet decided on me quitting that year. We still figured it would be at least 18 more months (from the day of the conversation), so having another child wasn't an option for us. I refused to work and have more than one child. I didn't want to work with one kiddo. So we prayed. We toyed with the idea of getting off B.C. and allowing God to plan our family size. A month later, we went off B.C., continued to pray and discussion this "foreign" idea of giving up control on the size of our family. Most of y'all know the rest of the story, we figured out that we could pay off the car by September of that year (a whole year early) and stay home with Bubbie (and any other kiddos) by the end of the year. In April of last year, we became pregnant with Peanut. Making that decision, to get off B.C. and follow the Lord's leading, was one of the best things I have done. I can't imagine our life without "Mr. Smiley". He has brought so much joy into our family and the boys adore each other.

Back to the reason for the post, I am thrilled to not be pregnant. If the Lord blesses us with another child, I will be thrilled- jump up and down and WRITE A POST! But, after being pregnant for 9 mos, recovering from the c-section, the difficulties with nursing and sleep.... I am ready to be "human" again! I have loved being with my children and watching Peanut grow and acheive milestones, BUT I am so ready to do things that I love doing.... Pregnancies aren't easy on me. They tend to bring out little health "issues" that don't normally bother me, but during a pregnancy- my body just goes crazy! (Not really and it could be worse). I have had 2 c-sections and dread the idea of having another one. I think the first one is the easiest, because you have NO clue what to expect, but now that I get to think about the c-section for 9 long months.... ugh! just don't want to deal with that any time soon.

As my wise and OLDER SIL said, her heart is ready for another child.... I feel the same way. I do think a child(ren) is(are) missing out of our home and my heart is ready to love another couple of kiddos.....but just not now.

I am enjoying watching my kids grow and learn. I am enjoying getting to know my husband again....after months of dealing with babies not sleeping, nursing a lot, 2 plus jobs, etc. I am enjoying getting to go out with the gals after the kiddos bed time and forming great friendship. I love my kids and welcome any more that the Lord wants to give us.

When people ask, are you done having kids? I answer them truthfully. We are trying to give that to God. It is so hard, especially for a planner and CONTROL freak chick, like me, but His will will be done whether I take B.C. or not......