A few weeks ago fear and anxiety struck my soul....probably satan trying to steal away my joy. I do not enjoy my kids leaving me. Never have and probably never, EVER will. I know it comes with the territory. I do tend to be more of a worry-wart than most. I've read too many things and seen too many things. I have read the Bible- A LOT and I know that God does work in mysterious ways to bring us closer to Him. Not saying I always like knowing that, but just the fact that I can't control God....and I don't know what His plans are for my life and my children's lives.....scares me to death! I know, I know... I say this verse.....
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
over and over in my head when I feel anxious. Doesn't matter. I know God's power and His love. I've seen Him work in my life SO many times. I also know that He has a plan and I DON'T KNOW IT!!!
The thought of being out in the middle of an ocean miles and miles away from my kids brings tears to my eyes and makes my throat swell up. Just knowing that they will not be WITH me and me protecting them scares me. I do know that Hubbie and I need this time. I do know that this trip is TRULY FROM THE LORD. I do believe that God wouldn't give us this trip in order to bring harm to my family. I know He gave us this trip as a blessing and I know to cast my cares on Him...and I do...daily....but the fears and thoughts come back.
I need peace and I need reassurance from the Lord that my children will be okay. More than anything I want to have a great time and to be able to focus on my husband 24/7. He does NOT get that attention that he deserves and hasn't gotten much attention since Bubbie came into existence! I want this trip to be a blessing for my marriage, but also for our family. Something we can always look back on and say "God did THAT!" and He did. I can't tell you enough about how this trip has impacted my faith....but I think more than mine, my husbands. I know God cares, but this is really an answer to prayer. An out of the blue..... knock on the door and surprise! kind of answer to prayer! We would not be taking a trip or a cruise if it weren't for God.
So, I am giving my fears and concerns to God... knowing that my children are in the most PERFECT of hands..... the hands that molded them and made them...the hands that gave them to me to make me a better person and to give joy and purpose.
It doesn't help that I am pregnant and probably the most emotional basket case I've been my whole life.
The thought of being out in the middle of an ocean miles and miles away from my kids brings tears to my eyes and makes my throat swell up. Just knowing that they will not be WITH me and me protecting them scares me. I do know that Hubbie and I need this time. I do know that this trip is TRULY FROM THE LORD. I do believe that God wouldn't give us this trip in order to bring harm to my family. I know He gave us this trip as a blessing and I know to cast my cares on Him...and I do...daily....but the fears and thoughts come back.
I need peace and I need reassurance from the Lord that my children will be okay. More than anything I want to have a great time and to be able to focus on my husband 24/7. He does NOT get that attention that he deserves and hasn't gotten much attention since Bubbie came into existence! I want this trip to be a blessing for my marriage, but also for our family. Something we can always look back on and say "God did THAT!" and He did. I can't tell you enough about how this trip has impacted my faith....but I think more than mine, my husbands. I know God cares, but this is really an answer to prayer. An out of the blue..... knock on the door and surprise! kind of answer to prayer! We would not be taking a trip or a cruise if it weren't for God.
So, I am giving my fears and concerns to God... knowing that my children are in the most PERFECT of hands..... the hands that molded them and made them...the hands that gave them to me to make me a better person and to give joy and purpose.
It doesn't help that I am pregnant and probably the most emotional basket case I've been my whole life.
1 Peter 5:7-- "Turn all your anxiety over to God because He cares for you"
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3 thoughtful comments:
OH!!! Hugs to you!!! I felt choked up just reading this.
I worry more than most seem to, also. I can totally relate.
I know this is a blessing, you guys winning this trip. And you deserve it.
I'm sure it won't be easy to be away from them, but it won't be too long, and absence makes the heart grown fonder, right?
I'll pray for ya! Hang in there.
Lu, I always have a VERY difficult time leaving my kids. I worry for weeks before a trip and think of every possible scenerio that leaves our kids without parents (I only say this because I am sure I am not putting this into your head--you've already thought of this too). The last time I went somewhere with my husband, I cried all the way from the grandparents house to the airport, and I almost cancelled.
HOWEVER, once I am actually gone, I am able to enjoy myself. As much as I love being with my kids, I can't help but enjoy the calm and peace of just being able to spend several days with my husband--alone. When I return, I am so ready to get my kids close, but I am also a better mom because I am so refreshed.
I pray that you will be able to let go of the worry and have a wonderful trip. Everyone needs a break at some point, and you are going to get to enjoy yours on a cruise! I know it will be awesome for both of you!
I feel you. When we take our trip in May it will the the first time EVER that we've been away from the kids (even over night, let alone miles away); I try not to think about it.
On a lighter note - I need to get your address so I can get the swimsuit to you for the cruise.
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