A Look Back at 2009

Gosh Golly!  What a year 2009 was, huh?!  Little did we know, when we celebrated on New Years Day 2009, what the year would bring us!

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January began with a bang and I remember sitting down and just writing a few prayer requests down.  Things that made me nervous about giving our finances, my health and ability to carry another child and our family size over to God.  [A little background- Once Peanut had weened himself, right around his first birthday, middle of December 2008, Hubbie and I decided to not use any form of birth control and to allow God to decide when our next child would be born, rather than planning.  So, of course, we got pregnant that very week!]  A week later our car, that had sent us into the depths of debt, was sold!  Out of the blue!  After a year or two of trying to sell it, we sold it without any effort at all.  Try and tell me that that wasn't a huge answer to prayer!  Then, my husband, found a van, in town, negotiated it down to our price range, in wonderful condition and we did this all within a few days!  Now that was definitely an answer to prayer!  We were all thrilled to have the extra space, but people questioned if we were pregnant because of this purchase......

Then a week later, we discovered that I was expecting our third child.  We were happy and very content with this discovery.  We immediately told friends and family.  The first part of the year was filled with excitement and plans for our third baby's arrival.  I wasn't too terribly sick, but I definitely had nauseous days that made taking care of two boys difficult.  Peanut had just REALLY started to walk run right as I began to feel the effects of having a child inside my womb!  Boy!  That made pregnancy challenging!  I had my moments, but eventually, Spring came and I felt better!

We filled the rest of our winter and the beginning of spring with MOPS, playdates and fun activities!  Then, one morning, we were woken up to the sound of banging and music....  Little did we know that God was answering, yet, another prayer....  We were sent on a paid vacation to the Bahamas on the Music Boat.  Hubbie and I had a blast!  I had anxiety about being so far away from the boys.  It was really just a lesson in giving complete control over to God and, of course, all was ok, like I knew it would be, and we had a wonderful few days without kids, burning laying in the Bahama sun  and getting to talk and eat without tiny hands or voices in the background.  We met some fun and Godly couples!  We got to go to amazing concerts and just reconnect with each other and our Heavenly Father.

Once we got back, summer began and whizzed by so very quickly.  We made a quick and cheap trip to the beach and it was, by far, our best vacation EVER.  It was so much fun and relaxing and we even met up with some friends who took us to lunch!

By this point, I was beginning to get very VERY VERY miserable.  Probably the most miserable I have ever gotten in a pregnancy.  Oh my goodness.... my bones ached.  I couldn't move well.  I had a hard time lifting and carrying the boys.  I just was not myself and I was beginning to wish a early labor.....  but God had other plans.  At the beginning of the pregnancy I had pleaded with the Lord that He would allow me to have a drama free pregnancy and allow me to carry full term and He did just that.  Oh!  How I wished I hadn't prayed that prayer many-a-mornings!!  Ha!  But he knows best!

Then the rug WAS pulled out from underneath me and I had a reality check.  I had been feeling very convicted of the way that we were managing our money.  We weren't over spending or buying things that we couldn't afford, but we did feel that we had gotten lax on our "gazelle- like intensity" to pay off debt.  I think we got burnt out.  We stopped trying and just got lazy.  Then we received word that Hubbie's salary had been cut RIGHT after we had renewed our commitment to paying off debt and pinching pennies.  Again, try and tell me that that wasn't a supernatural thing.  God was preparing my mind for what was to come.  Funny how is does things so marvelously to protect and guide His children... so anyway, we worried and pondered about how we could possible afford certain things.  We changed a few things and just kept plugging along in hopes that all would be well.

August finally rolled around and it was HOT and school started.  We felt very blessed to have chosen the school that we did.  The boys love their teachers and Bubbie was placed in a class with 2 of his friends from our local MOPS group.  Peanut didn't have any trouble leaving me one morning a week for Mother's Day Out.  The teachers and director get to know all the parents and are so loving and know everyone's names.  After a long several months of praying, questioning and second guessing, our decision of where to send them for preschool/MDO, I finally felt at peace about the decision that had been made.  Its been a wonderful experience and I am so very grateful to the people that work at the school.

Around this time, I think I went through post partum depression early!  HA!  Is that even possible?!  I was so miserable and Peanut was such a wiggle wart!  I began to wonder what we had gotten into.  I didn't want to NOT have my new precious son in our lives.... I just began to wonder if the timing was quite right!  Thankfully I had wonderful friends to gently remind me that I DID want this.  I knew I wanted my baby, but just wasn't relying on God.  I had such anxiety about my other two emergency c-sections and when would something happen and I was IN PAIN.... I allowed satan to warp my thinking and basically... I knew I couldn't turn back, so I chugged ahead, preparing for our precious newborn!

Before we knew it, it was September.... and our beautiful baby boy was born into this world.  His delivery and my recovery were the best by far.  I still can't believe I made it to a scheduled c-section.  Everything went so smoothly-without any drama or issues.  We were home within two days.  Baby Bean has been a consistently good nurser, a good sleeper and just a wonderful addition to our family... I finally feel that the missing person in our famiily is finally here. I cannot tell you how awesome our Lord has been.  Even when things didn't go the way we expected, He still answered our prayers and stuck with us.  Its amazing to look back and see His answering of many many prayers.  During this time I heavily on awesome support system of friends and of my family- lifting us up in prayer!  I don't think I could ever tell you what it felt like to be wheeled into that day surgery room.  Alone.  Knowing what has happened.  Knowing the pain and the recovery and the issues that come with surgery.  I felt at peace and once I heard my baby boy's cry for the first time, I was in love.  Any kind of anxious thoughts of how I would manage 3 kids or if we could afford this- they vanished!  All I felt was an overwhelming feeling of love and joy and thankfulness to our Creator for allowing me to carry and meet 3 precious human beings.  Our God truly is a miracle maker.

The rest of the year was spent adjusting to life with three boys.  I can say now, that 3 months has passed, that 3 kids, for us, was a much easier adjustment than going from 1 to 2 kids.  Baby Bean has his moments, but, so far, the 3 kids have all done so well with these new adjustments and we feel so blessed!

Thanksgiving and Christmas were the best holidays that I have had.  We spent them exactly how we wanted to.  We were able to spend time with both my brothers and their families.  Now that we are all married and have our own lives, its so much harder to get us all in the same room.  We had the best time and it was a blessing to be able to see my grandmother who is fighting cancer again.  Just being able to sit around and enjoy each others company was such a soul refreshing thing.  I so wish I lived closer to my SIL and those precious children(and she is about to welcome another one any day!), but I am very thankful to live in the same town as my parents and my younger brother and his wife who love my children!

So, we had a busy and fun year.  We tried to do as much as we could on a tight budget.  Of course, the year has had its ups and downs and quite a few times we felt like the rug got pulled out from underneath our feet.  But our Heavenly Father has remained faithful.  I could go on and on of how we thought we were "destitude" and how we didn't know how we would possible pay off the credit cards or how we would pay for Baby Bean's hospital bills, but the Lord worked wonders in our finances this year and I am happy to say that we haven't worried... we questioned, but we know that God has walked with us every step of our year.

"A psalm. Sing to the LORD a new song, for he has done marvelous things; his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him. " Psalm 98:1

With all of that being said, knowing what our 2009 looked like, I am treading lightly into 2010.  I don't think I fully reached my goal of 2009.  I believe these verses will be my life long goal.  I didn't do so hot on a lot of things, but I must say, that I have grown closer to God and to my husband this year.  Through the study of Moses, at BSF, I learned a lot about who God is as a Father.  I do believe that prepared me for the ups and downs of this year.  I really hope its not as dramatic as 2009 was.  I really REALLY REALLY hope we don't welcome any more children in this new year!  I love my kids and we would be blessed with more, but I think my body and our finances need a little more than a year to re-cooperate!

We are prayerfully considering new paths for the new year.  I am not sure what those might be...... but all I can say is......

HAPPY NEW YEAR