Just Sayin'

A few weeks ago, I was feeling convicted of the sin of fear and anxiousness.  I was feeling paralyzed by fear and the "unknown" in certain areas of our life.  I finally decided to stop being controlled by this, give it to God and start living.

Well, I did.  I printed up a long page of Scriptures- ALL having to do with fear and being worried.  I mediated on Scripture that fed me.  I prayed constantly when I began to "worry".  I was doing really good....  I had friends praying for me and I was loving this freedom.....

One of my worries and anxiousness is my germ-a-phob-ia!  Now, I joke about being a germaphob, but I really am!  My husband laughs at me, but sanitizer is my friend and the need for it is my enemy- GERMS!!!  I get annoyed when mothers take their children places when they KNOW they are sick!  I cringe when I see kids with green snot hanging out of their nose.  When a mom says that their child has thrown up and is OUT OF THE HOUSE and PLAYING WITH OUT CHILDREN and its only been 12 hrs, I cringe!  It is seriously an issue!  HAHA!  I just wish parents had the same curiosity...  No one wants to be cooped up in the house with sick kids, BUT lets all be kind and realize that no one else wants to do it either, so STAY AT HOME with your sick kids!  HAHA!

So, anyway, I was starting to feel peace about giving "control" over to the Lord and then BAM! Peanut throws up in the car on Wednesday night.  We get him home, everything cleaned up and BAM! he has a fever!  Random- high fever.  I treat the fever.  No more pukes.  We thought that maybe he ate something?! But then there was this weird fever, so I went into disinfectant mode!  I washed my hands.  I held my breath!  Anything I could do to reduce the risk of these germs being spread....  Thursday the fever went up and down.  I continued to do tylenol and IBUprofen.  The baby and the big brother seemed to be resisting this random bug except for the random and low fever that they both ran late Thursday evening.  Thank the Lord!  So we stayed away from people on Friday just to be safe.

On Saturday, Hubbie woke up with a sore throat.  Lovely!  Then Baby woke up from his AM nap with white stuff in his mouth.... I knew it was either Hand, Foot and Mouth or thrush.  We looked up some symptoms on line and figured out it was thrush.  Sure enough, doc said yes it was....  so far I didn't have it.....  Then I walked out to the car with Baby Bean and a prescription and guess what?!  Peanut had a rash!  Lovely, huh?!  HAHA!  We're assuming thats what the random fever was all about- roseolla.  I didn't take Peanut back into the doc, because I'm about 99% positive thats what he had.  So anyway....

Today, I woke up with thrush and a sore throat.  It just keeps getting better.....

I learned on Wednesday that self pity is a sin.  I have been trying VERY HARD this week to not "pity" myself for what is going on, but its so hard.  The whole year has been one thing after another and I'm tired.....  and exhausted.......  and I know its Spiritual warfare.  


Lord, give me strength.