While I don't want to wish away my children's lives or these precious moments, my heart is still sad for the fact that we are beginning to get rid of baby items that will no longer be needed in our home.
We have given all of Millie's itty bitty baby clothes away. Even the boy's itty bitty baby clothes, up to 18 mos, have been given away, donated or sold. We need the space. We can't keep it all. And why do we need to? My tubes have been tied. There is no chance for more children coming from us.
Millie will be five months on Monday. FIVE Can you believe it? I know I say it every month. It seriously makes me want to cry. Knowing that the itty bitty baby-do-nothing-but-sleep-and-cry-and-eat-stage is over. She is rolling, talking, trying to sit up while laying down, cooing, moving, busy! busy! And she's just going to keep growing {Lord willing} and achieving all those early milestones.
Hubbie jokes that Millie will be a big sister. This made me second guess our decision for getting my tubes tied. There wasn't a choice really. It could mean some serious complications if I even thought about NOT having them tied. Then I remember that Hubbie's heart is where mine is at. Saddened by the fact that we are done. Knowing what a blessing to have four has been.
The stress of having four children has been enormous. I don't think its necessarily four kids. Its four kids, these ages, with their quirks and personalities...... things going on. Its just a lot. Two babies- in diapers. One nursing exclusively. One not being able to talk, learning what he shouldn't and should do, testing the limits constantly. Two learning. Four to activities, appointments, etc.. Then you have life and house and stresses and struggles. Its been a busy year.
Adoption is what "all the cool" people are doing. Its so "NOW". Ten years ago, it wasn't. Now everyone you know, knows a handful of people who have done it or are going to do it. I typically don't like to "do" what everyone else is doing it, just because everyone else IS doing it. Pinterest...I resisted for quite a while. Facebook....I resisted for quite a while. Movies, shows, trends, etc.... If its getting "all the rave reviews"....I'd rather sit back and let the fascination with it die down and THEN I'll see/do it. I want to form my own opinions on things and not get caught up in the hubbub of what everyone is talking about. Silly? Perhaps...... But I feel like adoption is one of those "get on the bandwagon things". Someone says something. You attend a function. You hear someone else talk about it. And all of the sudden, people say "God is calling me to adopt". I don't think God is necessarily calling everyone TO DO IT. Now, hear me out.... I do believe that God wants us to minister and serve and be WILLING to adopt, take in/help those less fortunate than ourselves.... but I don't think that means, we MUST adopt and bring a child into our family. Perhaps being called to adopt means { for my family } that we sponsor
My heart was softened and became aware of what adoption can be like when a family from church began to bring in foster children. I will never EVER forget that morning that several adults in the church started to get phone calls and scurry around the church trying to find out if anyone had a crib and other baby items. A foster child had been placed. For the rest of my time at that church, the family ministered and cared for many children in the foster care system. Some of the cases, that I knew about, were really sad. They would break your heart. I still remember the children's names, faces, what they had been through.....but God used one family {family of FIVE} to make an impact on children's lives. On families lives. Who knows what their love and sacrifice and being obedient to God's calling did for those children...... Ever since I saw the love and sacrifice that the couple had for children, I always said I wanted to adopt. I was goo-goo-gaa-gaa over this precious little one that lived with this family for quite a while. I actually got to take care of him one weekend. Don't remember how old I was. But he was a cutie. Someone else in the church, actually, ended up adopting him, years later. He was PRECIOUS. And I wanted a baby JUST like him!
I believe, deep down, that our family is complete. I don't think I can handle any more kiddos. My patience has been MAXED. Our home hits the all-time-high stress level at times as well. I do pray, though, that if the Lord wants our family to grow, through adoption or to be foster parents, that He would provide and lead us to that calling. Or even for our hearts to be willing and softened by a calling to give more to those who need it and minster to those around us.
We must be willing and ready to answer His calling. Very scary to ask the Lord what that could mean. No matter the costs. We were put on the earth to serve. To love. To show God's love.
What does that mean for me? My family? How am I doing at the great commission? Loving? Serving? Not so hot.
We are in a difficult season. This season of little ones, schedules, feedings, nap times, schooling, busyness...its a difficult one. We have plans for our family. We want the center our lives and the purpose of our lives to be about Him.... but, how much free time do we really have? I think this might be a season of quietness for me. Being still. This won't always be our season to be ministered TO instead of ministering..... maybe when He brings you to a season of quietness.... of learning and growing.... perhaps He's molding and shaping.....
Someone I know posted this on Facebook yesterday. Good and very powerful. Go here to read- http://bhglobalblog.org/2011/11/27/the-gospel-and-adoption/
I love what is said at the end.... " But adoption is not easy, and children are indeed needy. It’s important to realize, then, that we adopt not because we are rescuers. No, we adopt because we are the rescued. And in this way, the gospel uniquely portrays, compels, and ultimately sustains adoption."
"I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! " Matthew 25:40
We feel challenged and our hearts softened to the needs of so many. What do we do? Lord, will you provide? How much to give?
During this season of Advent, we need to show our children the love of Christ to those that don't have a warm home, food in their fridge, toys to play with or perhaps, a Mommy and Daddy to read stories with.....
Help our family add some ministering opportunities to our Advent Calendar this month. Any ideas?
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4 thoughtful comments:
At one of our Walmarts, there is a tree set up by the Salvation Army that has little ornaments set up on it that list different children and their needs. The idea is that you take an ornament off the tree and buy that child a few Christmas gifts and then Walmart/Salvation Army will take those gifts to the child on Christmas Day. When we were out shopping on Saturday, Brian and I stopped to look at the tree and it broke my heart. There was an ornament for a little boy-- age 3, my Benjamin's age-- and it said he needed underwear. I just about broke down right there thinking that there is a little boy out there who is so needy that he needs to get underwear for Christmas. I promptly pulled that ornament off the tree and we shopped for him. I hope we made a difference it his life-- even a small one. We may not be in a place to adopt right now, but we can still change a life.
Check this document from the online yardsale out: http://www.facebook.com/groups/140342082698662/doc/228049447261258/
Trust me, deciding to adopt does not make you cool! Maybe if you are a celebrity that has stacks of money and a nanny to raise the child.
No, deciding to adopt in our reality makes you an oddball. It makes others question your sanity. You decide to follow God's command to take care of orphans and all of a sudden you are bombarded with naysayers full of negative comments who supposedly believe the same Bible you do. You are ostrasized and people apparently feel a little weird around you. Even when you don't see it coming, often times you don't fit in anymore because of where you chose to adopt your child from. You may have to change churches to avoid the negativity. You have just gotten back from seeing dozens of other children at your child's orphanage in desparate need for family just like your child was and yet, no one wants to hear about them. You have seen the need with your own eyes, you see the potential to meet that need in your church and people roll their eyes when you talk about it. You become that crazy couple with the 5 kids - who why in the world would they adopt when it is obvious they could have bio kids? No, it is definately NOT the cool thing to do to adopt. However, at the end of our lives, we answer only to God! only Him, not our families, not the naysayers, no one but God. Just like in the parable of the talents - the money the master (God) gave the servants was never the servants money. It was always the master's money and the master wanted an account of how it was used.
I don't know what road God is calling you to, perhaps he is just planting a seed. He planted the seed of adoption in my heart clear back in 2002. nine years before we actually brought the boys home. But listen to Him only. When I would get discourage by the many people who would say stuff like "maybe God is telling you No" I would consider it, then look at the Bible. What did the Bible say? Take care of orphans, ok then, we are going to keep going. And think of this...how many times in the Bible did God send someone on a journey or give them a job and then make the path completely easy? I can't think of any. But all the people named in Hebrews 11 were told to do something, and did it even though it seemed crazy to others, even though they might have questioned their sanity or when things went wrong, they remembered what God told them to do and they kept at it. It doesn't really take much faith to do something when you know exactly how it is going to turn out.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. This post hit me in so many ways. Again, thank you!
And to answer your last question, here is one of the things we've been lead to do since we moved to CO. I'm not sure if there is something similar in Augusta, but it has really helped to teach the girls (well, mostly Elliette) about loving and serving some people who have fallen on hard times. We join some friends once or twice a month and make sack lunches, then the next day we pass them out to people in Denver who are homeless. The kids are able to directly help, and after the sack lunches are passed out, we are all encouraged to stay and visit. I do feel like it has taken me out of my comfort zone, but it is such a great ministry. http://www.tollgate.org/index.html
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